Behind the Scenes at ActiveRain

This morning, children all over the world are waking up and running to the tree in the living room to see if Santa came last night.  It may be a silly routine for those of us who know better, but the Magic of Christmas is one of those things that we all remember during the holidays - a time where anything could happen.  Reindeer flying, snowman dancing, a fat man fitting down a teeny chimney.

For those of you celebrating Christmas this year, Merry Christmas!  I left a note for my UPS and FedEx drivers yesterday that said:

• Dear UPS and FedEx, if you have a package for (my unit), please call (my number).  There are two five year olds who believe that you are Santa's Helpers, so please help me make their Christmases brighter by taking the time to ring upstairs.  My landlord is not here and my buzzer does not function properly at this time.  Thank you, and please, be careful on the ice!!

For those of you celebrating Channukah this year (my Jewish friends assure me that there are multiple ways to spell it - oy), eat lots of fried things for me!  I can't even get TO the donut shop this year, so the closest thing with oil that I've got is....popcorn.  I'd make a terrible Jew.

For those of you "celebrating" Snowmaggedon or Snopocolypse, I leave you with this:

Via the Seattlest

Damn yous, snow! Damn yous!

Since the news this morning stated that much of the country is going to get a huge whammy of a snowstorm, I thought it might be appropriate to share some things that I've learned over the years that helped me make it through.  These tips range from bundling up to driving with the goal of getting home at night when visibility is low, but over the years, I've used each and every one to reach my bed safely and warmly at night.

Clothing Tips:

1. Keep a pair of socks in your desk - you can always toe off wet shoes, but if you're walking around barefoot, people are likely to notice.  They're more forgiving about socks. 
   
2. If you're just going from home to car and car to door, roll the cuffs of your pants up.  You'll look like a doofus for five minutes, at most, but your pants won't be wet.  Women, especially, tend to buy their pants a little long so that they can wear them with heels.
3. Toss a FULL SET of warm-weather clothing into your trunk.  You never know when the AAA guy is going to be just as stuck as you are.  If you have other members of your family, toss their clothing in, too.  If you have multiple cars, do it in both.  It's better to have these and not use them than need them and not have them.  On that note, have a big, warm blanket in your car, as well.
   
4. Spend the money to get yourself a pair of good, lined gloves.  You can get by with a "passable" coat and hat, but if your fingers are cold, you risk losing the grip on your steering wheel in a panic moment, you can drop your keys, or worst of all, when you slide on the ice and have to catch yourself, you could seriously injure your cold fingers and not realize it until they thaw out.  (UrbanOutfitters sells fingerless gloves with a mitten pullover top that is lined inside with some sort of fabulous fleece; it's what I'm sporting this year!)
5. If the snow is higher than your shoes, change your shoes.  And never, ever, ever wear your heels outside if you suspect that there MIGHT be even a tiny patch of ice on the ground.  If you have to wear your big, clunky mukluks out there, then do it, because it's better than breaking your neck in four-inchers.

House Tips:

1. Have sweaters on hand, preferably zip-ups, for when the heater doesn't quite cut it.
2. Get your heater serviced EVERY October (I realize it's a little past, now, but if you haven't done it yet, get 'er done!).  That way, if there's something seriously wrong, you have time to budget for it, get it fixed, and enjoy the heat and warmth.
3. Gather wood early and let it dry out.  If you're going to be burning stuff, make sure you get that carbon monoxide detector checked.
4. Always have one more blanket than you need, per person in your household.  Someone in your house will get too cold one night and want to put their ice-cube feet on your calves.
5. Be prepared for power loss - no power for most of us means no heat! Have blankets, water, food, and board games ready for the long days of little ones' teeth chattering out, "I'm c-c-c-c-c-c-c-cold.  And b-b-b-b-b-b-bored." 
   
6. Throughout winter, do not let your gas tank drop below half a tank.  When the power goes out and the electric gas pumps stop working at every gas station nearby, you'll thank me for this tip.
7. Have an escape plan.  If a tree falls on your house, where will you, the family, and the pets sleep that night?  Sure, you could go to a hotel, but it's also handy to have a sibling or someone who will let you stay for free during the cash-strapped months.

Driving Tips:

1. SLOW THE H DOWN.  That's right, I said it!  If there's snow on the road, there's ice on the road.  If it's under 32 degrees, plan for there to be ice on the road.  If the road's been gravelled, that does NOT mean it's been salted.  Plan for ice on the road.
2. If you live on a hill (like I do), walk the extra half block to check the downhill roads to see if they're safe for driving.  I violated this rule the other day and got stuck.  Plan your course before you drive it, whether you have AWD or not.
3. Always, always, always check the weather conditions, hour by hour forecasts, if you're going to be gone for more than one hour.  Water freezes at 32 degrees, so even if the forecast doesn't call for snow, you can count on there being ice out there.  Plan your day before you go live it.  When will you arrive? When will you leave? Will you be able to get home if you leave at that hour?
4. If there's too much snow falling to see more than a quarter mile, pull off the road and check the weather report on your local AM station.  If it's going to get better, consider waiting it out.  If it's not going to get better, weigh your risks of getting home in one piece.  If the risk is too high, find a hotel.
5. If you're going to be late, call ahead.  Do not push the boundaries of winter-driving.  Do not drive too fast, do not be reckless in passing, and do not, please do not, ride someone's tail.  People would rather you showed up late than hear you sent someone (or yourself!) to the hospital.
6. If you can't make the drive safely, don't leave.  This means that if you're heading over the mountains for Christmas and you don't have chains when they call for it, don't even try to hit the pass.  They won't let you through, for your own safety and for the safety of everyone else.  Your family would rather have you alive than home for Christmas.
7. Always, always keep a bag of cat sand or regular sand in your car.  This has fished me out of more slick spots than I can tell you.  I drive a 4WD vehicle, but four wheels spinning on ice do no more good than two wheels spinning on ice.
8. If you start to slide and there is no one in front of you (that you might slide into), try to ride the slide out.  Turn with the slide to keep yourself on the road, and keep breathing.  Slow down if you're able to do so safely, but use your brakes with caution - they often worsen the slide.

Finally, the #1 best tip I can offer you...

1. Always, always stop to help a motorist IF you have more than one adult in a car and IF you have the time to do it.  That stranded person may not have a phone or may be too old to walk on the highway in their condition or may have little kids in the car.  They might be unconcious from having hit something or need emergency assistance.  Why is this a tip for you?  Because someday, somewhere, you might need someone to stop and help you in the dead of night, in the middle of a snow storm, when your serpentine belt breaks suddenly and you have no idea where you are.

What other winter tips can you all offer to help us make it home safely? 

I just rescued my car from the overpriced hotel garage ($38/day! GAH), but before I did, I spoke with one of the concierge people about how the road in front of the garage was closed...

Me: Scuse me?  Hi.  I got stuck on this hill this morning, so pulled into your garage to wait it out.  But the road's closed...how do we get out?
Him: Well, people have just been pulling out onto the hill.
Me: Is that safe?  It doesn't look very safe.
Him: Well, what kind of car do you drive?
Me: A Rav4.  It's a small SUV.
Him: The ones who have had the most problems are the pickups with no weight in the back.  They slide all over the place.  *He looks out the window*
Me: Yeah, *laughs* I bet you have a great vantage point for watching all the idiots wipe out.
Him: Seen a few crashes, yes, ma'am.

Even though he hid it well, the grin was totally in the kid's eyes.  Apparently, stupid Seattlites are good for entertainment, at least.

Meanwhile! I had little trouble, since the road was blocked.  Just took it very, very slow, and slipped only a little bit on the ice.  A lot of the hill streets in Seattle are closed, which will make rush hour very, very tricky, but hopefully, the city will play it mostly safe.  My car is tucked safely behind one of the lot attendant booths, and I am back inside, piled under blankets.

Baby, it's cold outside!

Dear Seattle,

I have a bone to pick with you.  The weathermen have been telling us that we're going to get several inches of snow for the last ...oh... five days.  Lo and behold, their degrees were not fake, cause this morning? I woke up and there was snow outside.

I laughed.  I did, I was a foolish little git.  I laughed and said, "Okay, well, I have 4-wheel drive.  No problem.  Seattle can eat my dust!"  I didn't account for the five city streets I'd have to drive on in order to get to the highway. 

Apparently, even though we've been warned about this for days, even though schools have shut down at the mere word "snow", even though people have been getting it already in the upper- and lower-Sound, y'all didn't freaking salt or sand the streets.

You KNOW that Seattle drivers only see snow maybe once or twice a year.  You KNOW that 97% of them don't have all-wheel drive.  You KNOW that Seattle was built on a freaking hill the slopes toward the water.  And yet!  AND YET!  Can you tell me why there is no sand or salt on the streets this morning, especially not on the hills?

This morning, I figured that I'd go downhill, then up to get to the freeway... I even considered the grade of the hills involved.  No problem; if it looked shady, I'd go into SODO (South Downtown) and pick up I-90 there.  So I cleared off my windshield at 6:30 this morning, hopped in my car, and headed for Madison. I got almost all the way to Fifth, to my credit, before the cars piled up and began sliding.

Apparently, some idgit, in an effort to avoid the other idgit in front of him, slammed into a hydrant, which caused the person  behind him to hit him, which caused the person behind HIM to hit HIM.  Three car pileup at 5th and James....right in front of the freeway.  And Seattle drivers, freaking out, forgot that people were piling up on the hills, so Fifth Avenue?  Yeah, those drivers just kept moving.  I know, because I watched them for 20 minutes, with my hazards on, so no one ran into my tail.  The last thing I need is another car repair!

Finally, I stuck my head out the window and yelled to a Valet, "Hey! Is your garage open to regular people today?"  He winced and nodded, telling me that the daily rate was $25/day, then said, "But I guess that's better than having your car smashed up out there."  I couldn't argue with logic, so carefully edged my way into the garage, grabbed my ticket, and hopped out, heading East again on foot toward home.

So, Seattle, thanks to your ridiculous tendency not to give any credit to the forecasters, you owe me $25.  And who's going to call Jon and tell him that there's no effing way I can get into the office until they clear the roads? 

*mumblegrumblegruntgrr*  Seattle drivers need to go get their drivers licenses in Spokane, in the dead of winter, when there's five inches of ice under two inches of snow and the snow is falling so thickly that you have a quarter-mile of visibility.

Oh yeah:

Yours Sincerely,
One Very Pissed-Off Redhead

(Photo 1: Madison Hill (going uphill) and everyone stuck on it)
(Photo 2: The road leaving my house, and a car spinning out on it)